Saturn’s Return

After Audre Lorde’s “Hanging Fire”

by Iris Alufohai

[Author’s note: In horoscopic astrology it takes Saturn 29 years to orbit the sun and return back to the same place in the sky that it was in when you were born: a cosmic rite of passage marking a transition in your life into adulthood, after facing challenges and obstacles in your late 20’s to early 30’s. It’s a time where you come into alignment with your true path in life. You begin to gain wisdom and become sure of yourself and goals.]

 

I am Thirty
and gravity has betrayed me
the man I cannot live without
still looks at women on instagram
It’s no secret
how come my feet are
always so ashy
anxiety whispering what if I die
before morning
and I’m home alone
better make sure my door is locked

I have to lose weight
in time for my next vacation
my closet is too small for all my stuff
suppose I die lonely because I decided to
go thru his phone
and finally
see what’s going on in his messages
there’s nothing they wouldn’t do
to have their cake
and eat it too
my thoughts become redundant
and I’m home alone
better make sure my door is locked

Nobody even stops to think
that it’s the meat killing us
paying for services that
keep us sick
I don’t want to go to work tomorrow
will I Iive to see a million
better start creating
while I’m home alone
making sure the door is locked.

 


Iris Alufohai is currently studying health science to pursue a nursing degree at LaGuardia Community College. She is 31 years of age: born and raised in the Bronx.